Thanks to Twitter, the whole world knows that the UK is feeling the power of the sun for the first time in forever.
With an average temperature of 25 degrees, us Brits don’t know how to cope. Water companies are struggling, hosepipes have been banned and the constant complaining will continue for the next fortnight if the BBC’s predictions are right.
Let’s face it, the only weather this country is ready for, is rain. If it’s hot, we shut down and if it snows, we shut down.
But I feel like my battle against the sun is justified for two reasons:
- I am ginger, which means if I leave the house without layers of sun-cream I will become Darth Mauls adopted cousin. And if I do leave the house with protection, my freckles will decide to flourish and I have way too many of them for that to be a good look.
- I am a ‘curvy’ lass.
I’m a size 12-14, which I think is an awesome size to be, unless it’s hot.
Being this size means I have big boobs. Which I mostly appreciate because it means when I wear a low cut top I don’t get ID’d, but it also means they sweat a lot. The underboob seems to be the ultimate sweat hot-spot. And if that’s not gross enough, it means I’m forced to wear low cut tops to try and air them out. Which automatically makes people look at my chest, and leaves me feeling self-conscious.
I also have a big bum, which I actually hate with a passion. And it’s not because it looks bad, because I know people have operations and dream of having a bum like Kim K. I think it looks decent, but it’s so impractical. At work I accidentally knock things off of shelves, when I’m in crowded spaces it feels like I’m pushing into people when I’m trying to move between them and I can not wear short shorts without half of my arse hanging out. In this weather, I have to wear shorts (I’m a Tomboy, no way would I touch a skirt) which means my arse has free reign to the wind. Now, I’ve already talked about the low cut tops I have to wear, now imagine a short girl, showing boobs, legs and bum. It looks like I’m dressing for attention, but I’m not. I JUST SWEAT TOO MUCH.
And that leaves my legs. I have large thighs, which are probably the part of my body I’m most self-conscious about. I have to admit, if it wasn’t for the heat, I wouldn’t shave simply because I’m lazy and nobody ever see’s my stumps of legs. But having large thighs also means, more sweat. So I sit somewhere, and my legs kind of inflate as they always do when I sit down. If I’m sat there more than five minutes I will leave a huge patch of leg juice on the chair, which is v embarrassing. Not only that, but I end up with a huge rash on my thighs from where they’ve been rubbing together. And yes, there may be cream to help with that, but add that to shaving and that’s another 45 minutes added to my day just so I don’t overheat.
But despite these problems, I went home to explore the lakes and enjoy the sun. Even though the lakes aren’t actually lakes and I burnt the sausages on the BBQ, I loved the weekend and I couldn’t have been able to do it without the burning ball of gas in the sky. So thank you sun, you hot orb.
PS: The photo at the top is an old one, my hair is no longer blue.