Cursed by Zoltar

Hello again!

I know it’s been a while since I updated my Blog/Vlog, but I am back from my adventures.

I went to Chester Zoo to visit all of my favourite families from the TV show. The little baby elephant was chasing a pigeon, and looked so care free that I wished I was an elephant. At least until I got home and watched the episode where two baby elephants died, then I was glad I wasn’t an elephant.

I also went to Blackpool to watch Romeo and Juliet and pretend I’m cleverer than I actually am. Let’s face it, that’s the only reason people go to see Shakespeare. We all nod along like ‘Oh yes, what a literary genius’ but does anyone actually understand any of the long monologues Juliet makes without the help of an English teacher?

I also found Juliet very whiney. I mean (in this version) she snogged a boy she hadn’t said two words to at a party, and suddenly she was in love with him. He must have been a very good kisser.

Then, he literally murders her family and she’s like ‘Oh no, I must have sex now before he leaves forever.’ Despite being ONLY 14. Some girls don’t even have their periods at that age!

And finally, they both kill themselves, because even though they’d only known each other 2 days, they couldn’t live without one another.  I’m sorry Shakespeare, but you should stick to war and witches. It suits you better.

We went for a wonder in the massive pirate themed arcade too. I really wanted a Toothless teddy, I knew they had them in build-a-bear but by the time I actually found the store they had gone. I was very sad, but then a golden light glowed on a claw machine in the arcade.

Lots of little Toothlesses, all sat, ready for the taking. Problem is, those machines are made to make you fail. But I’m an over-achiever. I simply cannot fail, and I would not be defeated by a machine. However, I didn’t have any change and my mums bank account couldn’t support the battle of Lucie VS the Claw.

I got my fortune told whilst I was there, by the famous Zoltar. I saw his massive hat and moustache in his big box and knew he’d be able to advise me. The thing is, I think he’s predicted my death.

‘As the blessings of health and fortune have a beginning, so they must also find an end. Everything rises but to fall.’

Take from that what you want.  All I’m saying is, ‘Well, shit.’

My easily-influenced brain struck again when I was in Blackpool. My mum went to look at some piercings, and whilst we were looking a man somehow persuaded me to get a piercing of my own.

You should be proud of me though, I did say ‘No, thank you.’ pretty firmly the first time. But then he asked if I was sure, and I caved. Not only that, but he persuaded me to get the more expensive version. Why am I like this? Why can I not say no? Am I doomed to a life of saying ‘Yes’ to everything? Is that how I’m going to die?

If I’m not dead by next week, I promise to tell you all about my boxing experience.

Adios!

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