Hey there guys, I’m back after a long week or so. I’m actually struggling to write because Ian went to make me a cuppa and found that the milk had gone off. I have been betrayed by the dairy god and it’s only 10am. The heartbreak is real.
The reason I’m a few days late posting is because I took my friends up north with me. That’s right, I took Natalie, (The vegetarian one) Kyara, (The badass one) and Sarah (The one that knows everything) up to Carlisle to experience true northern culture.
Granted, we spent most of the time in Spoons but there’s something about a pint for £2.80 that is just magical. And we are low-key alcoholics, so you shouldn’t really expect anything less from us at this point.
But we did actually do more than just sit in Spoons, I was forcing my friends on an adventure and most of the time, they looked like they’d rather die than do the activities I’d planned.
This was most true on the first night when we arrived. We popped into my mums sp that they could meet the ‘friendly’ dog Caesar. Usually, Caesar is the best around new people. He doesn’t care, he will lick your face and stick his nose in your va-jay-jay like. he’s known you for years. But I think 3 people at once was too much for his already pretty small brain. He went into guard mode and wouldn’t leave my mums side. He almost warmed up to Kyara and took her a toy, but he wouldn’t play with it with her. He just sort of gave it to her and stared at her holding it for ages.
We also went on the VR on ‘Beat Saber,’ where you basically have to slash boxes with light sabers to music. It’s fun if you know your ups and downs and lefts and rights. Which I don’t. That game is honestly a dyslexic persons worst nightmare. It’s also a lot of exercise if you’re like me and get out of breath from going up stairs.
We decided to go to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet under the hotel. For any locals reading this, it was Shanghai Shanghai. The most happening place in Cumbria, it has loads of rumours and as a kid, you were living your best life if your birthday party was there.
As an adult, it’s all about getting your moneys worth. I did 5 rounds in the end (1 starter, 3 mains and 1 pudding.) We all left so stuffed that we couldn’t manage to walk any further than Spoons, which was literally right across the road. Kyara and Nat really weren’t feeling Laser Quest when we got into Spoons, but it only took Kyara half of her pint to get back into full-adventure mode and make Nat down her gin and OJ. We made it to Laser Quest just in time to have 2 matches.
Considering Nat was the most reluctant to go, she was the one enjoying it most. She was good at it too, winning the first match and coming 2nd in the second match. When she shot you, she’d laugh like a child and then high-knee run away. She also swore a lot when you shot her, so she was a pretty scary opponent.
Kyara took time to work into it, she lost the first match but came back with a vengeance, camping in her castle. At one point I tried to make her leave and we were just stood shooting each other in the chest screaming: ‘STOP CAMPING’ ‘GET OUT OF MY CASTLE’ ‘STOP CAMPING’ over the Mission Impossible theme music. This is why neither of us would be any good in a war zone.
Sarah shot me so many times for someone I barely saw during the match. I think she must have been stealthy whilst the rest of us ran around, guns blazing. It was probably the best tactic, since she didn’t lose either matches.
The game woke us up for a solid five minutes until the adrenaline left, and we retired at 11, like the true grandma’s we are.
The next. day we were up early for Ghyll Scrambling. The entire trip happened because I forgot Kyara was insane and said ‘ If you come up north at some point we can go waterfall climbing.’
I did not expect the very un-british enthusiasm she had towards the idea. So I invited everyone and, at last, we all went on a road-trip.
Ghyll Scrambling is basically climbing, sliding and jumping down stream waterfalls. It’s great fun, unless you’re like me and can’t walk in a straight line on dry land, never mind balancing on slippy pebbles.
I expected Kyara to enjoy it because she is literally the badass of the group. I did wonder about Nat though, because she’s scared of heights and seems to like her comfort zone. It was a good sign when she was the only one who knew how to put a wet suit on. She knew what she was doing.
Kyara and Nat were clearly having a great time, I could barely keep up. There was one huge jump that we were all unsure about (because jumping from rocks into more rocks is obviously something humans should do without worry.)
The instructor wasn’t going to do it, which was what made me suspicious. He had done everything else, so was this some elaborate murder scheme? Gain our trust and then murder us by making it look like an accident? It seemed like a very good plan, I was almost impressed.
But then he did show us how to do it, so there were no more excuses. We each took the leap and ended up with brain-freeze.
I’m surprised we didn’t get ill it was that cold. There was snow on the fell next to us, so it’s actually pretty lucky that we weren’t swimming in ice. It’s also amazing that none of us had any injuries. I mean, I had a few bruises but I randomly get them anyway, so there’s no proof they were even from ghyll scrambling. It’s probably just a demon trying to possess me.
Either way, I’m glad I pushed myself and my friends into going. We need to go on more adventures, sometimes it’s nice to actually do something other than drinks and movie nights. I’m hoping that even though we finish uni very soon, this was the first of many trips and experiences…
Even if we do end up in Spoons.