The difference between a Hamburger and Cheeseburger

Do you ever just have one of those days when you feel like the world is actually ending, and everything is spiralling out of control and every single thing makes you want to explode?

I’m having one of those days. At first, I thought I’d just suddenly lost all (and by all I mean the 20% of) the sanity I had left overnight. But as the day went on, and I ate all of the snacks we had in the flat, I realised that I had started my dreaded blobalob. I would like to take this chance to personally thank my implant for making my periods three times as long, and my hormones ten times as bad.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because it’s been making me annoyed at myself all day.    I’m not personally attacking myself, (though my brain is being very sarcastic about every thought) but I’m just frustrated about random stuff I do that everybody does.

For example, does anybody else have a customer service voice? I feel like a lot of people do, but I think mine is extra fake. It’s ridiculously high-pitched, I’m almost like a startled mouse. There I am at work, debating whether to have a burger or wrap on my break, and when a customer comes along it’s like my normal voice disappears and is replaced with a two year olds.

Basically, I think it’s because nobody can be genuinely enthusiastic about burgers unless they’re the ones eating them. I feel like a loon, stood there grinning as strangers tell me they don’t want cheese in their cheeseburger. (By the way guys, this is called a HAMBURGER. Don’t act like I’ve dishonoured your ancestors when your receipt says hamburger and you’ve ordered a ‘cheeseburger without cheese.’)

Everybody has to be nice to customers, of course. But why is it that when I’m out and about people seem genuinely pleased that I ordered half the menu and made their lives difficult? Is that because they’re extroverts an are actually pleased to meet someone so greedy? Why is it when I try to do the same I just look (and sound) like a psychopath?

I’m really unsure, and I’ve been thinking about it all day. Basically, if anyone has any answers to stop me pondering for the rest of my existence, let me know!

Buh-bye for now, folks!

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