The never-ending fianceè

Good evening, my loyal followers. (Wow, I sound like I’m the leader of a cult. Maybe that’s the career I should be looking at?)

I come to you today with no antics. I haven’t done anything but work, and am somehow still skint. I have never been more of a millenial.

Speaking of being a millenial, I have a viewpoint that nobody seems to understand.

I want to get married, but I don’t want to be a wife.

Bare with me on this one. I just want to be reffered to as a ‘fiancée’ forever. (I’m aware this makes it sound like I’m engaged, but I’m not. I just watch a lot of ‘Don’t tell the Bride’ and ‘Yes to the dress.’

The term ‘Fiancée’ seems young – more important somehow. Like the man (or woman) has proposed to the woman. The woman is more important, the man traditionally even has to ask for permission to propose.

But once you become ‘The wife’ it’s like you’re less important. It may not be the case any more, but the term ‘wife’ still has that negativity attached to it. A ‘wife’ is supposed to sit at home and look after children, and whilst this is the 21st Century, the word itself still has those connotations.

Even at the wedding the woman is ‘Given away.’ Like excuse me, I am not some hand-me-down. I’ll have you know that I’m a high ranged designer partner. If anything, you’re giving yourself away to me, sir.

For a while I thought this opinion might just be because I’m power hungry. Like a dominatrix of marriage or something. But then I asked Ian and he said:

‘You are the most innocent person ever. You constantly look like a lost child, how is that powerful?’

To be fair, I do use my bewilderedness to my advantage. It’s surprising how much power scared people hold, and weird how much British people feel uncomfortable around people that are afraid.

So maybe it’s my inner feminist that hates the word wife. Or maybe I’ve just completely lost the plot…

I guess we’ll never know.

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