I’m not saying it’s the end of the world – but McDonald’s Monopoly is cancelled

Oh, hello again. Who knew it would take a life-threatening pandemic for me to actually get my act together and write?

I’m not going to pretend that I have any idea what’s going on, other than half of the population is in self-isolation and the other half are out at Tesco’s bulk buying toilet roll and pasta.

I went for an apocalyptic shop at 8am this morning (which is dangerous – nobody wants to see me that early in the day) and there was no milk, which makes me think that the cows aren’t being milked fast enough.

There was an announcement saying: ‘Here at Tesco’s we are here to help through this uncertain time. However, abuse of staff will not be tolerated.’ Like, come on guys. I’m just as bamboozled as you are about the lack of pasta (legit the only thing I know how to cook at this point) but there is absolutely no need to take it out on staff. They are literally stood in the middle of the warzone, just trying to do their jobs.

I spent a good portion of my angsty teenage years reading apocalyptic novels. Sure, they seemed to mostly focus on romance and less on survival but as a teenager I had different priorities.

I always thought I would know what to do at the end of the world thanks to being a bookworm, but now it’s here and I’m lying in bed, stuffing my face with Krispy Kreme and waiting for Disney+ to drop. 14 year old me would be ashamed, but then again none of those books predicted that we would hang ribbons from our doors to let people know we’re out of loo roll.

I still have to go to work, for now. I haven’t been in since everything became takeaway only, but I have a feeling business is going to be slow. I don’t know what we’ll do once hours are cut, I still have rent and bills to pay but hey, lovely old Boris has made a new law so at least I won’t be homeless.

And if you need any more proof that the world is ending – McDonald’s Monopoly is cancelled. The most important part of the year for many millennials, gone. Just like that. These are very sad times indeed.

I didn’t think I was sociable until I was forced to stay inside on my days off.  I miss my friends, I miss my family, and oh how I miss my dog! If anybody wants to pop up on messenger or snapchat, please do. I’m not being dramatic when I say I can feel the very last bit of sanity leaving my body. Not that I had much to begin with.

But the good news is: penguins are wondering around aquariums freely, dolphins are returning to the coasts of Italy and have you seen the difference in the rivers of Venice? I’m not usually all hippy but right now it’s like Mother Nature is fighting back against us and I’m loving it.

I’m not sure if you guys can tell, but I feel pretty out of it right now. I have taken some Day Nurse to get rid of this awful flu (I so hope it doesn’t develop into the virus) and I feel like I’m floating. Is it meant to be that strong? Or have I swallowed the pill wrong? Who knows?

Anyways, if work shuts you’ll be hearing a lot more from me. If not, then I’ll just casually jump into your life for a few minutes before not being seen again for months. Think of me as the drunken aunt of WordPress.

Even I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore, so I guess I’ll leave you on that note.


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