The Most Awkward Thing You’ll Ever See

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

A blog, you say? Well, what if I were to tell you that I have transformed, evolved into a vlogger?

Now, don’t you worry. I’ll still write on here, this place is far too important to leave alone. But for now, I have spent literally 12 hours making a 6 minute Vlog for you all. Isn’t that dedication?

In all seriousness, I had no idea how long that was going to take. I am not a hard worker. I am lazy. And that shit was hard.

Anyway, I’d appreciate it if you’d go and check it out and, if you’re feeling generous, subscribe. I apologise in advance for my own awkwardness.

Please be nice, I pretend to be badass but deep down I’m just a little squirrel.

 

https://youtu.be/ZWQVMRyto9s

That would be all!

 

 

 

Dating a dentist

I have been with my boyfriend, Ian, for almost 5 years now.

Every time I tell someone this, they automatically go ‘Awh, how cute.’ And, it is cute, but it’s not all fun and games.

This is mostly because he is a Dental Nurse, and spends an awful lot of time inspecting my teeth, even when I’m not expecting it.

The other day I was smiling at him, and he smiled back. I thought it was a sweet, romantic moment where he was happy that I was happy. But no, he was just happy because he could see that I flossed.

I also get ‘surprise trips’ after I asked if we could go on some adventures. On my day off last week he called me and asked me to go to his work for a check up. I asked when and he said ‘Now.’ Bearing in mind I was sat in my dressing gown dunking a Chunky into my tea, that was not what I meant by an adventure.

So, in I went. He even took a break so that he could use the saliva slurper on me.  When most girls say ‘he stuck it too far in and I choked’ they’re referring to something dirty. But not me, I literally mean he stuck a tube in my mouth and I have a terrible gag reflex. To be fair to him, that wasn’t his fault. He is good at his job, it’s just his job that’s not pleasant.

I hear so many horror stories, I’m surprised I’m not mentally scarred. Apparently, blood gets on the ceiling and he has to clean it after every patient.

I also know lots of long words like buccal and prochlorperazine. What do they mean? I have no idea but I know them.

I guess it’s not all bad. I get free toothpaste and I’ll always know when I need a filling. Who needs romance when you have private treatments at NHS prices?